FICTION: Real Realm

In the Real Realm, May 2019, by Mark Townsend

If you look closely, you will see

an ugly thing inside of me.

What it is I care not say;

but it is not in there to stay.

This demon has no place in me;

and I insist on being free!

I must fight and cast it out,

no matter how long and mean the bout.

And, there is another thing inside of me,

quite different from the first, you see.

It will not let me sit and rest,

but always finds another test.

Why does it care to bother me,

and make imploring faces?

It jerks me on, till I'm giddy,

with its weary paces.

Ah! the truth is clearer now I see;

and there is a better way to be.

I shall seek that way, I know;

and follow it where e'er I go.

I'll speed away with my true Master

and safely shun a dark disaster.

I'll lose the demon in the dust.

The truthful way I'll keep. I must!

1

I had died, diseased. Deceased. It was like being shot out of a circus cannon, in slow motion. My trajectory landed me among my parents, and relatives who had passed on, and they lovingly greeted me and assured me everything would be alright. There was a wonderful light illuminating all of us. I turned and saw the Holy One among us -was it Christ? Could it be Christ Himself returned, where ever HE wished? My mother noticed I was in wonderment over this, and she said:

"Here we are! Yes! The Presence is always with us! There is so much joy here! I have continued teaching music lessons!" I had known she would.

"And I have my own shop" my dad asserted solemnly. "I understand more of what you tried to tell me before. I was fortunate to have your mother to help me!"

"And you have helped me too!" she included him, "And we help lots of others!" Her delight was contagious. Again, she looked me over, appraising me, looking into me, to see what state I was in, as I began the new life.

Then, two lesser entities, one on either side, conducted me to a steep canyon, like the ones we had in Ecuador; and there was a bridge stretching across it. I was told I had to cross. I walked that bridge, finer than a hair, and sharper than a sword, with the two aspects of myself. One seemed to want me to succeed; and one seemed to be careless whether I fell or not. They said they were not separate from me, and were to be my guides. More precisely, one had always been my Advocate and the other my Adversary, meaning that one testified to all the good that I had done, and the fulfillment of my best potential; and one had been my lower, animalistic, appetitive ego, and testified to my acting out my worst.    I continued the dialogue with them, as though they were "other than me" as I sometimes had before, during my earthly life, when they were my higher and lower selves, one pulling me to the spiritual "things above" and one pulling me to the mundane "things below." On the left was nothing but suffering and service; and on the right was opulence I could never have imagined. The choice was mine. There would be no loss or gain either way. But if I chose the sacrifices, I knew I would be with the Presence. If I chose the delights --I was not so sure. I threw myself to be with Him wherever HE chose to BE.

2

As soon as I did that, there was a glow behind me, on my right side; and I turned and saw what was a most breath-taking sight! A radiant city at night, spread out below me, to all horizons! Light came from windows in the towers, conveyances in the streets and above the streets, orbital stations and strange star formations above them!

I began flying over the city, like one of the Blue Angels, my wingmen were the Advocate and the Adversary. I wanted to go down, but a stronger wind compelled me to go on over the city, leaving it behind. I felt an awful ache, come up in my throat, that I may never see the place again.

"I wouldn't have any anxiety about the Real Realm, if I were you," said the Advocate, in a disconcertingly disconnected manner.

"Did you think the Law would overlook the fact that you'd need shown around?" the Adversary challenged sarcastically. "How could He neglect a guest, when it was all prepared for you!"

"You'll soon find that all those irritating disorders you were so worried about have been completely shaved away!" the Advocate consoled me. "And the Adversary is upset, because he knows he doesn't have much left to hope for."

I had been raised to believe that if one did not forgive others their sins, ones own sins would not be forgiven. The Adversary could never understand and accept this because he was a sneak and a liar and thief; but the Advocate helped me to become better and better at it.

"Heheh!" I chortled. "What a fine place this is! It feels like I've come home!"

"We're in for some big surprises," they both warned.

There was a hard, pouting sensation coming from the Adversary, and I slowly banked down, and settled into a bleak and greasy-looking grey swampland, studded with stones of all sizes. It was calm and tranquil, but  undeveloped.

"Why are we here? What is this place? Why couldn't I go to the city?" The Adversary smirked and said nothing.

"It's not so bad really," said the Advocate. "It's tolerable."

"It's horrible," I insisted, "compared to the city."

"This is your very own place," the Adversary informed me. "You're to fix it up the best you can." He saw my utter astonishment, and continued:

"Yes! You ought to get to it. You've got all the time you need, whatever it takes! There really is no time anymore, because we are not orbiting the sun. The ambient light is of another nature."

So then, in that world that was new to me, where time was not the same, and I was re-positioned in an unknown space, I fulfilled my sentence, and set about fixing it up. It was gloomy because I was gloomy. But I gradually enjoyed seeing the result of my work. I gathered my hopes and Aspects into myself, and focused my will power; and pictured "the Lord" visiting me, as if my meager efforts would somehow be of interest to the Eternal Entity!

There were no stores to go to, and no one to help me, and no way to escape the chores. I tediously scratched the debris up into piles. Then,  I made rope from old fibrous vines that crawled along the ground. With these, I pulled and aligned the boulders, while trying to avoid stepping on cute, innocent things that resembled guinea pigs.

I worked without sleep, and without food, and without anything I was used to.

After what could have been measured as years, the place looked different. The rock had been made into tapered retaining walls that formed a square. There was an entrance in one side, with stone stairs leading down and up. From the excavation within, I had made clay bricks. There was no other choice. There were no tall, straight, lodge-pole pines, no trees at all.

I devised a kind of cement that served the purpose of filling the gaps between the boulders and spreading over the walls made of bricks.

With some ingenuity, I shaped the lodge into a dome, with windows all around, so there would always be light within, for anyone who inhabited the place. The thought occurred to me that I would either live here the rest of my existence, or others might come and join me or displace me; so I wanted it to be as pleasant and as solid as possible.

All this was done by myself alone, with no help from anyone, only occasional conversations with my Aspects, especially the Advocate.

But, there came a "time" after the lodge was complete, that I stopped work on it, and wandered far afield, wondering what would happen next. The Advocate shone when the results of my work became obvious. The Adversary was numb to what had been done, knowing that he would soon be extinguished altogether.

3

Then I saw a beautiful thing! A small purple flower, startlingly fine. There were never flowers there before. I got down and studied it, and noticed that it slowly changed from one shade of purple to another, and back again, like the effect of rotating discs that projected colored lights on holidays.

Ages passed on Earth while I stared at that rare, hopeful and beautiful thing, trying to comprehend something about it, when a buzzing began and I was visited by a Being of Light. I knew I was in the presence of a higher power, perhaps not the Highest Power, but one I should certainly be respectful to; and this power had kindly consented to visit me.

I saw we were arranged with an invisible barrier between us, and chairs appeared. It resembled the visitation room, where family members talked to inmates, in a prison.

"How have you been coming along?" asked the Being, who looked at me as if he knew me better than I knew myself.

"Well, he's been trying..."said the Advocate.

"Yes, we can see that!"

"What will happen now?" the Adversary wanted to know.

"It is now advisable to introduce you to a new situation, if you're willing, a 'condition' nearer to _____."

"Could you repeat that last word?" I asked. "It's new to me; I could not catch it. It sounded like jab-a root."

"Jabarút! That's the whole idea!" said the Being, now appearing to be humility itself. "We are the mere ideas of the Supreme Mind!" And he gazed away distracted.

"But what about this stone lodge that he has made?" asked the Advocate.

Once again giving us his attention, he said "O, there are some new folks coming who deserve to tarry here a while. You have served them wonderfully. You may again return, to visit, since it is part of your work. But let us continue on now."

Then, the Being, looking askance at the Adversary, said "You should disassociate yourself from that thing. You may not approach the Throne with it. I know you made efforts at its limitation while you were on Earth; but now it must be completely burned away; and if you don't do it, it will be done for you!"

I thought deeply about this. I knew it had to be done. It seemed I had been alone for such a long "time," that I now desired the company of friends and companions.

4

After a bit of a blur, I found myself casually seated on a grassy commons, between prestigious looking edifices, and I knew it was a campus for higher learning.  I became anxious about my new schedule. This really concerned me deeply. Could I get a copy? Where were the classes? Could I find the teachers and the texts, the rooms and most of all, the answers?

Above me, some of the other students were flying and cavorting in the atmosphere, shouting "Look at me! I can fly!"

Then, stillness! The doubts and uncertainty were gone. The others were agape at something. I turned, and there, coming across the exceedingly green grass, which seemed to thrill because she was treading upon it, a heavenly maiden approached the group. She was perfectly beautiful! No, she was beauty itself, not from this plane, but from somewhere above.

She paused and adjusted the silk sari she wore. All eyes were riveted on this visitation, when she began to speak sweetly:

"Now class, gather your things and follow me to the auditorium; and we shall be the lesson."

"Did you hear that?" the Advocate asked. "She will be the lesson!"

She moved away gracefully, and we all followed after, like iron filings to a magnet. She smiled and gestured gracefully, and she was grace itself. At the most demure and unhurried pace, she moved to one of the buildings. The hem of her sari concealed the dainty movements of her feet.

With such a sensation of happiness and blissful anticipation, I joined the others in the seats, all the while watching how she conducted herself. She positioned her perfect and luminous form at the front of the risers, and serenely waited, as all the seats were filled, to the very top. The students were of all types and races, some tall and black, some small Orientals, all sorts of complexions and hair styles, some with strange appendages, and some with small animal companions, all murmuring with eagerness, and curiosity.

When they became still, the perfect professor, the epitome of everything good and beautiful, addressed the throng:

"Dear friends, I am one of the maid-servants of the Merciful, instructed and invested by Lady Wisdom herself to teach you that which is of the utmost importance in your journey to the Incomparable! By imbibing this knowledge and wisdom, you will be enabled to draw nearer to the Throne of the Incomprehensible, and thereby reflect, with more fidelity, the subtleties of the Immeasurably Wise Lord."

She said this with supreme confidence, and I was put at ease, assured that everything would be alright.

"Now, the inner mysteries and answers to many of your perplexing problems will be revealed to you, as never could have been before. A clearer understanding of the purpose of all things, and of the possibilities of your destinies here, in the Real Realm, will become manifest."

With that, she turned to the high wall rising behind her, and with the delicate touch of a finger-tip, activated a screen, which came alive with scenes, unhurried and stately, but with a profound emotional impact. They were surprisingly familiar.

What I saw, and what the galaxy of others there saw, was for our inner eye alone. Each witnessed just enough to bring forth the essence of tears, the essence of the throbbing hearts, the very essence of love and yearning. The theme could be said to have been the merging of our innermost, heart-felt hopes into an immense Ocean of Light and loving-kindness. I can only describe it as a kind of preparation to become even less rooted to our lower self, and become like leaves in the Holy Breeze, hollow reeds for that Breeze to play a melody on.

Then, the theme changed, and the tender threads of hope snapped and dreadful, sinister images came, and a feeling of perversion pervaded the hall.

"We wanted to warn you about this," both my Advocate and my Adversary said at once. There were obscenities shown, and these were forever carved into slabs of crystal, as a testimony to the All-Knowing, and then they were sealed away, leaving me thinking that if the Lord remembered all things, the least we could have done  would be to make those recorded deeds worthy.

The Advocate said "I know this."

An unbearable and oppressing feeling of foreboding settled over the crowd of supplicants, and a chorus of groans gained in volume and intensity, until the screen went suddenly blank and the mood deflated.

We were able to again turn our attention to the refreshing and revitalizing beauty of the professor.

"As you have seen" she intoned in her bell-like voice, "the services you perform henceforward will determine the caliber of your standing. You may wish to remain in the palaces provided, or you may choose to descend with the Commander Himself, into realms where both persecutions and victories are inevitable."

The doors of the auditorium were flung open, and my sense, when I beheld the peaceful campus, was that this might be a relative paradise, or it might not be. The students flooded out in all directions, symbolic of a developing and purposeful design. But I remained behind, to gain private counsel and personal advice. I learned later that all the students were given private counsel; but I was only aware of my own.

I was alone with her ravishingly radiant and unutterably ancient reality, one of those from the very highest Concourse. Stumbling and mumbling, I fell prostrate before her, clutching for the hem of her sari, hoping with feverish intensity that it would go well with me.

"Dear one," she whispered more intimately than any earthly lover, enunciating my real name to me, and the un-apprehended meaning of my name, with hints of future potential. "Have you not felt such love before?" asked the Advocate.

I could not speak, but made a mental gesture: "If you yourself are a maid-servant, how great must be the Lordship neither of us deserve?"

"O Yes!" she agreed, "What Power and Light could be greater than that! Arise!" and with a slight touch to my form, at a point most in need of therapy, she concluded: "This is only the beginning!"

5

I then found myself lying down, in a warm, comfortable craft, whirring down an avenue, with no clothes on, zooming over some nice neighborhoods with towering town-houses, where the craft could land.  I felt the vibrations alter; and the craft steadily slowed down, and arrived at an estate, on the edge of the town.

It didn't matter "where" it was. I was "there."                        I disembarked, by placing my foot down with a feeling of some accomplishment; and turned to look back at the craft that brought me. It was a sort of air-whale that had reclining seats, where I had been lying on my stomach, with my face forward. The craft was alive, and focused a tiny eye on me, as it turned away. Then I turned to the mansion in front of me.

"Wow!" exclaimed the Adversary, "what a great place! Look! There are four floors, and a pool in front, instead of in the back!"

Along the face of the mansion, there was a set of stairs winding upward. On each step of the stairs stood an elaborate and beautifully shaped statue, in stunning and engaging detail. Each one was different, in a different pose, men and women, and other things, intriguing and bizarre, all wearing various vestments, and a range of expressions. They welcomed me and alluded to what may be within, reminding me that this was my reward, for improving the swamp, and warning all others away, like the man-headed lions, the kerubim of ancient times.

I made my way inside the tall entrance, and there came an immediate sense of wrongness. The Adversary was eager to get set up inside. That convinced me this was some sort of trick! All my avid eagerness to live in the mansion fled away, and I spun around and went racing down the walk, to the lane, lined by trees, wanting to get away from the palace as fast as I could!

"You will be glad you left this place!" said the Advocate. "Even if there was a party there, it would feel strange and empty. You wouldn't want to stay there!"

I turned to the Adversary to see what he had to say; but he appeared sullen and still.

6

As I was hurrying away from the place, I looked back one more time. When I turned back again, there was an enormous dragon blocking my path! It was the size of a train, glittering different colors, and wore a fierce but unintelligent expression. I barely had time to register this, when the dragon was over me, its' great mouth reeking, as it ate me, effectively swallowing me down the slimy, undulating throat, into the vile and tortuous gut!

But the Advocate said, "You have already died, and cannot die again! Wait a while and then make your way out. Don't be terrified of this dragon, or anything else, ever. Be fearlessness itself."

Gathering my thoughts, I pictured myself to be something the dragon would be sorry he ate. I pointed my hands to dive, and forced an opening in the dragon's flank, and wriggled out through it. The dragon moved away, as if unaware. I noticed that on each of its' scales was written "Remoteness from God." It had been a little scary, but not so bad.

7

I suddenly found myself falling again, clutching at anything to slow me down, falling down a dark, round well. I emerged through the roof of a giant chamber, and fell the final distance onto something that can only be described as a jangling, jungle-gym. Countless inter-connecting bars moved and re-connected themselves. They were animated, robotic, and kept changing their configurations, and I became hopelessly tangled within them.

They opened for me and re-connected themselves around me. I thought that I might devise an escape, but there really was no chance. I could not escape. There was no cessation, only constantly releasing and re-connecting, seeming to open up, but pushing and pressing again upon me. It was not so much terrifying as irritating, exasperating. At some point, I gave up, and let go of the idea that I might affect some escape, and resigned myself to be there forever.

As soon as I did that, I was extruded and excluded, like something disagreeable to the apparent senselessness of the maniacal mechanicals, and I found passage up and out of the chamber.

8

When I gained the upper ground again, there was a pleasant village and a normal fast-food  cafe, in a public mall. I asked how much a plate was, and I was told that my credit was good, that someone had arranged with them to cover me. This was possibly due to prayers still being said for me. My order came and it was accompanied by "fried potatoes." At first I found them delicious and desirous; but then, the Adversary diverted my attention to womanly figure, who came in, and I scrutinized her too closely; so the Advocate made the fries on my plate appear to be the most disgusting things, cold, moldy, unappetizing in the extreme.

I turned away, with overwhelming shame, and soared up over the village; and saw the city I had seen before!

9

I was a swiftly flying point of light, over the city. I determined to do something noble. I sought to enter into a window of one of the towers, which appeared to be darker than the rest, shabby, in need of attention. I flew close to the face of a man within, who sat still and unresponsive. He was unaware of me and stared ahead blankly. I looked closely into his sad hazel eyes; but he did not notice me, and sat inert as a stone.

It was my task to rouse him, if I could. I had to do something to get his attention. I turned off his artificial TV, and turned on the spigot in the kitchen, and turned on all the "lights" he thought he had, as well as the fan and the heater. Plus, I let his imagined dog in, who jumped on him, wriggling and wagging its tail.

Finally he stirred and noticed me taking shape in front of him.

"What's happened? Who are you?" he exclaimed with alarm.

"Relax," I said. "I'm only here to make sure you're alright."

"What is your name?" he asked.

"Well, I'm wondering that myself."

I sat down on the couch while he kept the lazy boy; and we just talked. I waved all the appliances back to normal. I told him what names my parents had given me, but that I was still trying to understand the inflection that the lovely professor had used, but I couldn't quite grasp it. He could only remember his earthly names.

"These names might not be so important;" I said, "but they might still have something to tell us. We should learn more about our names and our purpose here; but we have to summon all our efforts, and focus our attention. Nothing stays the same but the Absolute Good."

"It hasn't been easy." he said. "No one had ever really cared for me. No one could spare the time, because the material world was spiraling down to hell faster and faster; and the leaders were unwilling to do anything to arrest it. No one showed love steadily to me or taught me anything, and I had doubts about the existence of any great Good.  I gave religion a half-hearted effort; but everyone seemed like hypocrites. I had to scrape by like a street dog. I was an orphan, and moved from home to home. I'd been abused and subdued by drugs and alcohol, and robberies and disappointing affairs with women, and I felt pretty much used up, like an empty shell on the beach."

I simply told him I would be his friend,  All during this episode, my Adversary expressed his opinion that this was a waste of effort; but I knew the Adversary was fading away, and I had found out, even more clearly, what my purpose would be: helping one soul after another.

The Advocate gave me the idea to "put a crab" inside the man, and get him going again. I didn't say it like that to him, but the image amused me, and I smiled; and my smile made him smile for the first time. My Advocate connected with his Advocate; and from then on, I tried to help him call on the Good, talk to the Good, and rely upon the Good. It had to exist; and we were never to lose faith in the highest Good. I suggested we go for a walk, but he was reluctant. This was a man who had been homeless much of his life on Earth, and was now filled with fear that if he even "went out," he would lose his place, and never be able to re-gain it.

But my friend eventually admitted that he was curious what else there was to find out; and I knew then he had some possibility. He slowly began to get psyched up, and I stayed near him while he got his strength back. Perhaps a thousand years passed on Earth during that period of time.

My friend with hazel-eyes was now going for walks in the park, and even discovered he could leap from one end of the block to the other. After a "while," I told him I had to go, but I would check in with him again later.

10

The voice sounded all at once in front of me: "Behold!" And I beheld a beautiful beach of sand, stretching away into the distance and I could hear the susurration of the surf on my right. After a moment the Voice sounded again:

"Thou art contracted to count My countless grains of sand, even if thou contractest migraines."

"Wha?" exclaimed the Adversary. "Who are you?"

"I am boss here right now. Begin counting the grains of sand." commanded the voice.

"But wouldn't you already know how many grains of sand you have here?"

"I desire that you also know it."

"Then please tell me!" I responded desperately. He mentioned a complicated number to such and such a power.

I still could not understand why I was told to do such a thing, but I didn't bother to argue anymore, and fell to my knees and began counting the miniscule grains that had stuck to the palm of my hand. When I did this, the Advocate smiled quietly.

After a while, I actually was enjoying what I was doing, and was sorry that I had inclined myself whatsoever to the Adversary's position. I determined not to tell the voice what to do, but just do whatever it told me to do. I continued to count, past nine thousands of grains, when the voice spoke again:

"Thou mayest stop now, and take a break; there is someone in the sea, who wisheth to speak to thee."

Without reply, I stood up and walked into the sea. It was filled with luminosities, and was utterly relaxing and warm. I swam down and admired the beauties which were there to see, coordinated schools of fish, colored corrals and turtles and... and a manatee! We swam close to each other and greeted one another gently.

"How many grains of sand did you count?" he asked.

Not too surprised that the manatee could speak, I answered, "Nine thousand, two hundred and thirty-six." 

"You are not the first to have their obedience tested," the manatee kindly re-assured me.

We enjoyed the swim in the comforting lagoon, and it seemed like evening time, because the ambient light was low, and it felt like manatee and I had the entire world to ourselves.

When I did decide to walk back up on the beach, the manatee bid me farewell; and I assured him I would come again, if it was possible, and swim in the sea with him.

"You will surely come again; and go out farther, and dive down deeper, and meet with Leviathan!" This I found to be a somewhat fearsome prospect.

I noticed the Advocate was happy, and more solid in appearance, while the Adversary seemed almost invisible, insubstantial, with nothing helpful to say.

"Glory be to thee!" cried the voice, as I was whipped away.

11

I was now curious what had become of the stone lodge I had built. I was getting better at getting around, because my desire was becoming the desire of the Desired One. In an instant, I was transported to the lodge, and saw that much had changed!

The place was inhabited by a family that had been wiped off the face of the Earth by a war they never understood. They were happy now, and had improved the place by using their desires so that trees appeared. I wondered why I had never thought to do that! I had done everything the hard way, as if I had been an unimaginative mule. So I learned from them to form a picture of what we agreed upon, and turn up the desire for it, and invoke the power of the All-Powerful, and awesome things appeared! The entire swamp of confused rocks was rearranged into a paradise for other souls, and working together made it possible.

12

With this new skill, I wanted to rapidly travel and visit lots of the people I used to know, to reassure the ones who were sad, and lift any who were down. The more I did this, the more empowered I became, so that I never felt hopeless; because hope sprang as fresh as Spring all the time, in the constant Presence of the True One.

I saw my parents whenever I wanted, and my friends, and the people I had loved, and the people I had hurt or confused. I asked them to forget the past and let me atone for what I had done, if I could. Everyone was going through issues of self and selflessness.

I saw there was no end to helping others who needed it, because they were everywhere! The more I helped them, the more I was helped. The more I showed joy, the more joyous I became. The more I answered questions, the more my questions were answered.

And as my curiosity grew, my Advocate and I could not really be distinguished; while the Adversary was nowhere to be found. I really had no tolerance for his deceits and trouble anymore; and there was no going on until he had vanished.

At this stage, I felt I needed a vacation of sorts, and decided to revisit the manatee in the endless lagoon. I focused on him and was there. It was not a vacation that I found!

13

The sand was smooth and white. The Breeze blew in from the sea, and the trees along the shore rustled and whispered something intelligible to me. The sea was vast and brilliant, and a Voice too great to imagine called to me, as never before: "Come to Me!"

I slowly waded into the surf, knowing that I was just as suited to be there as anywhere else. The manatee was there, floating in a meditative trance. Waiting on others was his particular mission. He noticed me after a while, and indicated, by his thought, what I should do, which I already knew. Seek out Leviathan.

When manatee saw I was clear about that, he expressed that I had been granted the Good Pleasure of God the moment before death. He gave me his own best wishes, and continued in his trance, turning away without so much as a twitch of his flipper.

Then, I summoned all the spiritual deepening I had ever done, and plunged into the Deep End, where Leviathan would surely be found. Down and down I sped, like a torpedo, hopeful, certain, determined.

14

Suddenly, the Presence of Leviathan grew in my awareness and in proximity, filling my vision! He was, IS and will be! Powerfully attracting Love and supremely illuminating Wisdom encompassed me by the Lord of the Seas, the Ruler of the Skies, the Chief of all Lands, and all worlds, and All Things.

There were countless other souls also seeking Him relentlessly as well, like clouds of shrimp, exhausted with their own existence. Lovingly He swallowed us all up, but unlike the dragon, this was what we yearned for. We became more like Him, relinquishing our remaining worries to Him, to be swept away in the current, and we enlisted in the armed forces of His purpose, arming ourselves with His permanent virtues, powers and faith.

An even greater sense of serenity came over us than ever had before -such that we never wanted to be estranged from our Best-Beloved. During that "time" and during that pilgrimage, and in that "whale", we Jonahs became confirmed to take on even more responsibilities and became even more worthy, to receive even more bounties.

We were given our new names clearly, and it was explained to me that I was His "Beloved Warrior."

This had always been my name. Now it would be fulfilled, because I was fulfilled, like a solar flare across space.

Up to "now," we had been in the lower realms of Malakút, the Kingdom of Spirits only. Now we would move on to the higher realms, near the well-guarded boundary with Jabarút, (another name I didn't know before), where Gabriel was, and realities personifying obedience to the holy commands; and even these could not enter into, or ever arrogate to themselves Lahút, the One beyond Whom there was no passing.

Our task forever after would be to fortify those teachers of righteousness, who re-enforced freshly arrived souls from the material planets of Nasút, as the delightful, the delicate and demure maid of heaven had done for me, with a touch. I was to do for others what she had done for me!

Waves of indistinguishable light, love, power and wisdom vibrated through us in that brilliant sea, and we were now angels, and Leviathan was our matchless Commander.

Showing us His immediate Plan, we formed ourselves into rows, rank upon rank; for even in this gathering there were some of higher and lower degree.

Yet we moved as one school of thought, breathing in His inspiration, preparing for a mighty Mission. Whichever way He turned, we turned.

He was and was not God. This would never cease being a mystery. Our Lord of Hosts had forever reflected, in Himself, the perfect image of the God.

Although He was in front of us leading, He was also behind and to the sides, above and below us, intimately beside each one of us, far from what any of us could picture. We were never without His Presence. Whether He infused strength into us, or polished our conceptions, or prayed with us to the Unknowable Essential Source, He was our boon Companion.

Praying we do unceasingly, right beside Him. He is the First of all created things, the Primal Will, and the First Word, uttered continually by the one and only true God;  the First Servant to bow the brow to the Absolute.

From the grandeur of the great Leviathan, He varied His form to suit His mood. Now He was the rising Sun of Truth, and again He was the Nightingale upon the Tree of Life, gathering and uniting, harvesting and purifying. In a form reminiscent of those human forms we'd left behind, or somewhat smaller, He swam with us in the Sea of Light, shaking His long locks free, for each of us to take hold of, like a life-line, and thereby we were led whithersoever He wished.

In Himself, He personifies the world of Lahút, God Manifest, Yahveh, Brahman, Tao, Alláh. He was al-Abhá,  the Sender of all the great Prophets of God, and He Himself came down and spoke on countless mountains. All these worlds of Nasút, Malakút and Jabarút   were like a ring upon the finger of our commanding King, and He had commanded, and would continue to command all dimensions throughout the entire creation, which had always and forever been writhing restlessly.

Our Leviathan of Love was this Immensity, yet was different from it. All souls who wished to know the God, came to Him first, and could never pass beyond Him. He is transcendent above gender, and all limitations. But because He is the active God-born Force regenerating All Things, and giving form to inert dirt, and meaning to inner selves,

He was, is and will be always "BE," none but "ME", known as "HE!" But the Unknowable Essence He referred to as Háhút, the singular originating Point, the only real Absolute, the central Orb of the universe.

He descended into world after world, causing continuous thunder and lightning, earthquakes, dreadful volcanoes with fires, belching new soil, altering the air, gathering the seas, titanic hurricanes, meteors raining down, raising of gentle Dawns, and always knowing what was in store for us, from the selfish blind beasts, who spread like insensate weeds.

We inspire and motivate the few receptive souls, and from these destined, and virtuous strains, spiritual civilizations proliferate.

We reassure those that are opposed, and oppressed, tortured and slain on countless planets without end, fearlessly continuing, knowing full well what the fiendish demons do not know: we can no longer die, loving all like generous sunshine, forever uttering the sword of the Word of Life, feeding all the Bread of Life, imparting the crystal clear Water of Life, and the precious Wine of Astonishment, forever encircling the Ever-Living Life-Giving, Life Taker, Life Maker.